Even the most severe of issues has been successfully worked through in a therapy session, so it is not true that the difference is only in the severity of the problems. This is most people’s assumption in New York but it’s wrong.

The correct answer is that couples who are able to pull through together are the ones that take their sessions and turn it into action at home. Here are some things to consider if you want to improve your chances of making your marriage work through counseling.

The first step starts with your own listening skills. It is very easy to go into a session ready to fight for your own perspectives. You get defensive and start thinking about what to say in return rather than just listening closely to what your spouse has to say. Relax and just listen.

The second step is to speak honestly and from your heart without holding back. Even if what you say might hurt your spouse, you have to get out what is hurting and hindering you in the marriage. Hopefully they will give you the same respect and listen as you did to them.

The third step involves a mutual effort. You have to get past blaming one another for everything and fighting over things that do not even matter. Get past the petty fights you have had over and over for the past years and get down to the root issues that are fueling all the fighting. Those will be what needs fixed.

Ultimately, you have to listen wholeheartedly, speak the truth, and then go out of the sessions and put what you learn to use. You have to take action every single day to make things better.

For couples therapy NYC to work in your favor you have to stop worrying about being right and protecting yourself and be vulnerable to the issues that are really hurting you. That is the only way.